2018 Final Standings
Ty: 6-3 (In one guest appearance)
Boatin’ Blake: 59-52
Jamison (Ret.): 52-59
Hello everyone, and welcome to Season 2 of The Weekend Spread, our weekly spread prediction, totally not gambling, prediction article. Bobby and Boatin’ Blake return for season two, with a new challenger: Ty from The Schooner Pod. Each week, we’ll pick the spread of each Big 12 matchup, as well as three of the best non-Big 12 games in College Football and now the wildcard individual lock of the week, chosen by each picker. We have to start with Week 0, so let’s dive in!
Miami v. Florida (UF -7)
Bobby: I seriously think Miami has the workings of a dumpster fire. I don’t like the prospects of Manny Diaz as head coach, I’m not sold on the Hurricanes quarterback and I’m not certain that defense can win them ballgames.
Florida, while I’m not fully sold on them as a legit playoff contender, is just much farther ahead of Miami as a program. Dan Mullin has his system rolling and if Felipe Franks can have another solid year at quarterback, the Gators will be a solid team in the SEC. Their crazy young O-Line will be tested early Saturday, but ultimately Florida’s offense will be the difference-maker here. Florida, -7
Ty: Florida vs. Miami, what a rivalry. It’s like watching Northern Florida-Man face off against Southern Florida-Man. Nobody really cares what happens, and it doesn’t really have any national implications, since Florida wont even win their division.
Even though literally no one that matters cares about this game you still know that us degenerates will be putting the monies on it. Where should you put your monies you may ask? Well, certainly not with Robert “Iowa-State-Is-The-Second-Best-Big-12-Team” Howard the 4th. You, the intelligent independent sports “investor” should allocate your investments to the Ty “Mother-F*n” Lee Sports Investing Fund™.
Where does Ty put his money though? He puts it with the damn winners, that’s where. Who is going to win this game and cover the 11 point spread? The University of Florida that’s who. It’s literally that easy. Florida EASILY takes the W from “the U” and easily puts up ELEVEN more points than Miami does.
Sorry Miami fans, all of whom are reading this from prison and have never attended a university, y’all are taking a fat L tomorrow. Florida, -7
*Quick legal disclaimer: if you do put your money with Ty and go UF -11 I do require a 25% fee of all winnings before taxes. IF you bet on my advice and lose then The information contained in this article was obtained from publicly available sources and has not been independently verified by Ty. Neither Ty nor Schooner Blog Media makes any representation or warranty, as to the accuracy or completeness of the information contained in this article and any liability as a result of this article is expressly disclaimed. The article should not be relied upon to evaluate any potential transaction. Ty is not giving investment advice by means of this article, and this article does not establish a client relationship with Ty unless you win.*
Boatin’ Blake*: (The salty seas of education got to The Captain this week, so he is picks only; just insert a spiel about The Turnover Chain or something.) Miami, +7
Arizona @ Hawaii (UA -11)
Bobby: The other important game on Week 0. I love that we are properly starting this season with one of my favorite college football traditions: the late night/early morning Hawaii game.
This game is particularly interesting for multiple reasons, primarily, Hawaii’s “on-island effect” when playing at home. The allure of the island and the time jump has been known to bite teams and this Arizona team is a prime upset candidate. The Wildcats were completely unreliable last season and even though Khalil Tate returns at quarterback, I can’t trust this team.
But Hawaii? These guys are just awful. Even with the island effect, Arizona will have more time to acclimate to the time and should be ready to roll. Or at least enough to squeak out a cover. Arizona, +11
Ty: Hawaii Golden Rainbow Warriors -or something like that?- (Allegedly a D1 team) vs. the Arizona “I’m-from-SoCal-but-I’m-too-dumb-and-too-poor-to-bribe-a-rowing-coach-to-go-to-a-Cali-school” Wildcats. What a matchup.
I personally hate Arizona (the team, the state is beautiful). Arizona is the arch-rival of Arizona State University, an esteemed academic establishment (ASU is probably the hardest school besides UCF to get into tbh) (Ty got in to ASU just saying, not bragging, just letting everyone know).
Anyways, Hawaii is playing Arizona on one of the islands out there (I think it’s like the second one or something, definitely not the big one). You the readers do not have a client relationship (only if you win) with Ty for geography advice, its purely for the cash, so let’s get down to business. I am excellent at business, many say the best at business, in fact I’m typing this from the Price College of Business where I type things.
Let’s close this deal though: bottom line up front Arizona takes the W here. Hawaii is a one trick pony and that trick is location, their location can really throw off teams, due to the extended travel time. This is Week 0 though, and Arizona is rested and ready to go: a HI trip won’t be the issue that it is in week 7 for example.
Hawaii threw the ball well last year, but all you business savvy people know that past results are not always indicative of future results. AZ has a decent offense for the PAC 12 with the PAC’s best rushing game (#frat am I right) they also have a star QB who is supposedly coached by one of the worst coaches for a star QB to have maybe ever, Kevin “I suck but Johnny covered for my absolute inability to be a NCAA HC” Sumlin.
Let’s look at what we have now to evaluate, will AZ get 7.5 more points than Hawaii? Well no, that’s literally not possible. It isn’t possible for a few reasons, firstly how are they getting half a point? Secondly Arizona sucks, like actually.
Heres that sweet sweet financial advice you’ve been waiting for: Arizona W, Hawaii cover. You heard it here first everyone, when you get that cash just know I need 25% before taxes. Hawaii, +11
Boatin’ Blake*: (insert something probably about Hawaii, islands, crumbs, boats and making the standard late Hawaii pick to save the day.) Hawaii, +11